the lower case co.

smells like coffee in this starbucks...

2008-11-11T12:15:00.003-05:00

well... look what i found. actually the new lady friend found this. which of course led me to re-read all my posts and dammit i was pretty funny/depressed/pissed off. well, i still am. i guess. so hey, guess who wants to start posting on his blog again? yup. this guy. i'll see what i can do. i'm quite busy with work/school. but that never stopped me before. maybe the next post will be a little more interesting. until then...

wait... the coachella festival is in indio, ca?huh?

2006-05-13T08:56:00.001-04:00

*stretches* ah yes, another well deserved vacation. that's right folks... california! i've never been west of st. louis so this was a big deal to me. but what was in store for me on the left coast? well, let's start from the beginning... (this is probably going to be a long post, you might want to grab a drink and a seat) oh, and click the links for interactive goodness.

this all started in... march i believe it was. tweek was planning a trip to ga to see yours truely some time this summer. cool. as i was talking to a co-worker, let's call him horse, he tells me he's going to the coachella festival in april. now i'd heard the name but never really checked it out. so i go to the website and have a mild musical stroke. metric is going to be there!? and lady sovereign?!?! i immediately send tweek an email saying "fuck ga. california. coachella. we're going. dont be a bitch." and surprisingly the next day he's actually considering it. kick ass! so we work out the details (hotel, car, etc.) and we get our tickets. so now i have two months to forget i'm going to this. (which i do.)

thursday, april 27, 2006
traveling... oh how i hate it (but ironically i'm very good at it). so i have a 9am flight out of atlanta. i decide 5am is a good time to get up, do some last minute "what am i forgetting", clean up and be on my way. i'm out the door a little after 6am. now i've made it to the airport in about an hour almost every time i've had to go (if you've never driven on interstate 85 in atlanta, let me tell you, motherfuckers be crazy!). so i'm putzing along pretty good and bam i hit the 316/85 intersection. backed. up. construction!? wtf?! so i'm sitting there. and sitting there. and... sitting. there. pissed off it's like 7:30 and i've still got like 30 min at least to go. so i'm being the good samaritan and watching all kinds of single occupied cars use the hov lane. after a half hour of that i said "fuck it" and hopped into the hov lane hoping to not get pulled over. which i didnt. so i'm cruising in there. get past the atlanta traffic and now i'm booking at over 100mph. this lasted for about 15 minutes straight to the airport. of course could not find a parking spot. parked about 2 miles out and tried to run (in sandels) to the terminal. it's now 8:30am and after trying the self-serve kiosk, i pose the stupid question "did i miss my flight" to which the guy doesnt even look up when he says (sarcastically) "i think you did sir". fuuuuuck! so luckily there's another flight in an hour. so i pay the $50 fee and call tweek (who's already on his flight) and leave quite the pissed off voicemail. oh yeah, he's flying out of philly, we're meeting in los angeles. did i mention that? yeah so anyway... fun with dick and jane played during the flight. i've never been on a flight that had a movie. it wasn't bad. i always giggle at jim carrey's antics. and tea leoni... mmm.

anyways... the flight, fine. landing, fine. now i have to find twee... is that def jam president, russell simmons!? no, it's a homeless man. gotta find tweek. found him... now let's go get that mustang convertible! oh yeah, that's right. big pimpin' in cali. this is the last of my american express rewards points. so i need to enjoy it. and boy was it enjoyable. if you havent had the pleasure, you should. of course, as expected they give us a white one. blah. and, as expected, while driving out of the parking lot we see at least three other colors that we would have rather gotten. but who cares. mustang! so we take that bad boy out... we decide first things first, let's go looking for arrested development spots from the show. first stop, fisherman's village at marina del ray. after walking around for a while and arguing a little bit, we find where the banana stand was! totally rad. it was confirmed when tweek asked one of the locals and before he could ask "where was the..." she just pointed. i guess they get that a lot. so as we're walking back, and getting a picture of the marina hornblower (the boat from the pilot episode when george sr. gets arrested), we spot a loose seal! are you kidding me?! there's really loose seals out there. no wonder buster got his hand bitten off. so we put the top down and head out. we try finding some other spots but come up short.

we're hungry. so we stop at santa monica's yacht harbor. nice place. of course, it's the beach and it's like 60 degrees and i'm freezing my ass off. so we hit california's version of a jersey boardwalk (coughghettocough). after lunch (or dinner... what frickin time is it?!) we walk along the "park" i guess you would call it. apprantly there had been a plague go thru there shortly before we got there b/c people just seemed to collapse and fall asleep everywhere. it was quite weird. and it was scaring tweek so we took off for the hotel. that's a two hour drive...

*whew* this is a long ass post... did i mention we were there for 6 days?

so the cathedral city hotel... wow. bad wow. it smelled.. odd. i couldnt put my finger on it. moth balls? kasha? something. oh the toilet talked. but not in a sexy marilyn monroe voice, more like a metallic humping noise. apparently it kept tweek up most nights, i only heard it when i was awake. in an odd way i sort of missed it when we left. i said goodbye to it. and the breakfast was crap. it was a place to sleep. and shower. that's it.

friday, april 28, 2006
we meet up with some co-workers who live out that way. this would be horse and his father, we'll call him jeeves. so jeeves decides "let's do some wine tasting". sure. we drive to like three of these places looking for the world's cheapest wine tasting (which according to jeeves is free) and dont find anything. so it's off to an in and out (a california staple apparently). the place is in. sane. it's like a... i dont know what it was like. first of all the menu is minimal "hamburger, cheeseburger, fries, drink" (i kid you not). there may have been a couple other things but i didnt read them. so you would think "no problem here"... wrong. apprently there's all these unspoken tricks to ordering at an in and out. to save time let me just say order everything "animal style" and you'll be safe. i dont know what it means so don't ask. and i thought i saw lindsey lohan there but... probably wasn't her. after that we go back to jeeves' house and kill some time waiting for his wife so we can head out to san diego. "kill some time" turned out to be a lot of hours of wasted time. i think tweek was quite pissed, as was i, but we're both too nice to say anything about it. anyway, san diego ain't too bad. it was quite the hoppin' joint. of course the los angeles dodgers were playing the san diego padres that night... that could have had something to do with all the activity. tweek bought 2 hats there. there would be 4 by the end of the trip i think. he has a problem he's yet to admit...

saturday, april 29, 2006
the big day! day one of the coachella festival. we hit ihop to celebrate and plan out our attack for this festival. see, there's 5 stages at this thing. so there's always someone playing and toward the middle and end of the day there's a good chance two or more bands you want to see are playing at the same time. the music went from noon to midnight, saturday and sunday. and with debating musical preferences (sometimes) there's the chance tweek and i must seperate to accomplish our goals. this really only happened sunday but i'll get to that later. so the place is outta site. there's tents everywhere, stages, stages in tents... oh so much fun to be had. so we do a lap and take it all in. grab a drink and head off for the first band of the day, the like. i had some of their stuff but tweek didnt know them. they rock and we leave. oh but wait... they say they're signing autographes at the virgin megastore tent at 2pm. groovy. tweek says no thanks, i'm gonna go check out white rose movement. yeah fine, i'm going to meet the cute rockers. so i stand in line for a while and get their autographes and a picture with them. as i'm leaving i get this brilliant idea... i tell z berg, the lead singer, "my friend (tweek) went to go see some other band instead of standing in line to see you. could you sign this (paper) and say something like 'hey tweek, you suck. love the like"? and she's happy to oblige. i've included a pic of the autograph for tweek. which is now framed and displayed in my apartment. i told him "i got you something, but it's way too awesome to give to you".

moving on, time for lady sovereign. good god! not only is she way cute, she's quite the skilled rapper. and british! totally kickin'. before i go on, pretty much everyone i mention in this post you must look up. i wouldn't have sat thru their sets if they werent cool. anywizzle, there was this stupid girl in front of us dancing like a fucking crack addict. if you're reading this i hope you die in a car accident.

next... wolfmother. oh man did i have the biggest rock hard-on after seeing these guys. i didnt know their music but i've read a couple things about them. and there was no one else playing so i told tweek we have to see these guys. rocked the fucking house! it's like sabbath music mixed with zeppelin vocals/lyrics. i got their cd when i got home and must have listened to it 6 times in two days. it's unbelieveable. please do get it.

so we stayed in that tent for clap your hands! say yeah. they were much better than i thought they would be live. nothing more to say about them. so after that we walked over and caught the end of my morning jacket. not tweek's favorite but it was a good break from all the previous rockin'. so we killed some time and spent some hard earned money in the virgin megastore tent. then it was time for franz ferdinand. now i just want to kick myself in the balls when i hear "take me out", but dammit their other stuff is good. and i hate that i have to admit that. so anyway, they played the "coachella" stage (which is the biggest). it was pretty cool, they had huge monitors on each side and everything. all tricked out that stage was.

so franz brought it and we walked over to catch the end of eagles of death metal. umm, yeah. what a bunch of wankers. i must've heard "let's hear it for the ladies" like 5 times in the 15 minutes we were there. blah. thankfully after that atmosphere brought the funk. i've been enjoying his stuff lately so i was glad to see him. quality rap there, check it. finally the end of the night (and this was the slow day mind you). tweek wanted to see daft punk so he was off to the dance tent. i was torn between she wants revenge (which i have their cd) and the rakes (which i've only read an article about). so i went with the lesser known rakes. they were rockin. british angst about working in a cubicle. good relatable stuff. (mental note: pickup the rakes next time at best buy.) after tweek was done with daft punk we walked by the she wants revenge stage. they were ok... not what i would have expected live. i expected better. so walking, traffic, driving, hotel. end of day one.

sunday, april 30, 2006
coachella, day two. the big one. yesterday was a breeze. other than the last set, there were no hard decisions. today was gonna be a problem. the day started with a very unknown band, the octopus project. instrumental, interesting stuff. i wouldn't get the cd but wouldn't discourage others from gettting it. next was giant drag which definitely lived up to the name. i dont know why but tweek and i wanted to see them. i think we saw the cd in the virgin megastore tent and after reading the track names (for example, "kevin is gay" and "my d*** s***") i think we were intriqued. and she didn't let us down... i remember in the softest, sweetest voice she said "this next song is called you fuck like my dad". i remember thinking "yeah, i guess we'll stick around for this one". after them was mates of state. good good stuff there. just a keyboard and drums. i loved it. very simplistic yet very fulfilling.

so now the big decision comes... stay for ted leo & the pharmacists and then run over halfway thru and catch metric on the other side of the field or go sit thru james fucking blunt to have a better chance of fighting my way to the front for metric. i chose the latter. and it was so worth it b/c i've got a major jones for emily hanes (lead singer). of course i almost fell asleep standing up listening to james blunt (who the eff is this guy anyway?). but yeah... so worth it. i got about 2 from the front. rockin! there was even a glimpse of emily's nipple. i mean c'mon... nipple=rockin'.

so after all that i was off to the main stage. next up: sleater-kinney. again, rockin' (minus the nipple). if you ever have the chance to see them, do it. they will not let you down. the lead guitarist was tearing that shit up with an angus young inspired gibson guitar. oh man, so hott. the drummer was constantly pissed off though. the microphone they had propted up for her to sing in kept falling down and god help the poor stage hand who had to keep coming out and fixing it b/c he got ear fucked every time. i thought it was pretty funny... she didnt.

up next, the big finale... the yeah. yeah. yeahs. bitch. now let me paint the picture... we're talking about a huge fuck off stage in front of a huge field. i'm about 10 people deep from the stage and i'm semi-tall with nothing but midget high school girls in front of me. the place is crowded but i'm doing fine - i'm about to see the yeah yeah yeahs. as soon as they get on the stage this sea of about 20,000 people decide they need to be closer to the stage and start pushing forward. now it's just me... tweek is off doing... something else (trying to give james blunt a blow job i think). the crowd gets so jam packed i probably didn't hear the first two to three songs. i was also so pressed up against everyone that i didnt need to use my legs. i literally stopped using them and the people around me were holding me up (which was ok with me, my legs were killing). so once the crowd relxed a bit it was time to rock. and boy did they. for only a guitar and drums they sure do make a lot of noise (in a good way). and karen o is just an amazing entertainer. and she's definitely getting better with experience.

so after all that i had to now find tweek somewhere near the madonna stage. not. happening. there's about 40,000 madonna crazed idiots over there. oh, and my phone has no signal whatsoever. finally i get off a text message that says "dont go to madonna! meet me (somewhere)". no idea if he got it or not but as i'm walking over to check out mogwai he's already there looking for me. so we exchange battle stories since we havent seen each other since like 3pm. then we grab a good spot for the go! team. which i must say was the perfect cherry on top of this already kick ass weekend. they started a little late but who cares. they are such an energetic group. and each person (other than the lead singer and one drummer) was constantly switching up their instruments. it was a cool little dynamic they had going on.

i don't walk the line...

2006-02-28T22:00:00.000-05:00

so i just got back from seeing walk the line. the film about the life of johnny cash. it was ok. dont get me wrong, i think johnny cash is great, but his life didnt really seem all the interesting. but hey, it was good either way. i'm writing this post b/c i feel horrible (seems to be the theme of this blog; maybe i should change the name to whinnyville). yeah yeah. i know you've all heard it before... but have you? i'm nothing. you're nothing. there's so many people in this world doing a whole lot of nothing. and they dont even know it. it's just day in, day out. and some of you are genuinely happy. and my hat is off to you. but i dont know... what's the point? each day goes by and i've wasted it. i've wasted every day of my life. i've never lived one to the fullest. not a one. and is it looking up? no. i'm not doing anything to improve the situation. sure i've chosen to go back to school. but for what? to become what? an interior designer? an architect? it's all bullshit. why do i feel compelled to leave something behind when i'm gone. to want my name, life, work to be remembered. is it some sort of sign? is that why i constantly feel this way b/c i'm never going to be happy until i do it? yeah, i want to be a rock god. or the next dylan. but not for the money or the fame. just... i feel like those things are living ones life. it's not a job, it's your life. playing music, making people happy, giving them something that they can take with them. what am i giving this world now? nothing. i dont leave an impression on anyone i meet. at least not one that lasts longer than a few minutes. even if i joined the peace corps. helped out all kinds of people across the world, i bet i'd still feel worthless. all b/c when i'm dead no one will remember me. i'm retarded, i know. but god dammit doesnt anyone else care about that? your existence is meaningless. you're just a blip in history. but you know what? you're not even that. b/c there'll be nothing left of you when you're gone. your pictures will be thrown away. your money divided up. your great grandchildren wont even know your first name. and if you're really vain you'll be another tombstone mixed in with the thousands already in the cemetery; just trying to leave a memory of yourself behind. all this music is influencing me lately. my vinyl's call out to me... dylan, cash, lennon, charles, johnson, morrison, crosby, stills, nash, and yes... young. but god dammit who am i? i dont even have a cool name. i have a voice that sounds like a woman (on a good day). i've never been thru hardship (other than the pressure i put on myself). i'm not addicted to drugs. i'm just fucking fed up with this life. it's so meaningless. but i keep doing it. i get up everyday and try like hell not to die. that's all life is to me at this point. dont die. and i cant even find a good woman to make me forget i'm nothing. i've been living here for two years and i still dont have one damn friend. what the hell? is that another sign? am i not making friends b/c i should be working on my craft? i have no ambition though. no motivation. what's motivating me now is just my own personal torment. but i can always subdue it. just pop in a dvd or something. i'm sure by the time freddy got fingered is over, i'll have forgotten that johnny cash's live at folsom prison sold more records than the beatles. and that's no joke. b/c this whole fucking post will be forgotten in a few short, wasted days. i need to give myself to something. just dive in 100% and not pussy out. but what... ?

i may be... lost

2006-02-05T09:16:00.000-05:00

so i made a "smart playlist" on itunes. the concept was all songs under a certain amount of time. so i thought i would take the numbers from lost, 4 8 15 16 23 42, add them up and make that the time limit. so it comes to 108 and i make my playlist "any song under 1:08"... and it brings back 108 songs.

...dude.

a good quote from a good man...

2006-01-04T21:26:00.000-05:00

kinda goes with my previous post:

this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "doc, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." and, the doctor says, "well, why don't you turn him in?" the guy says, "i would, but i need the eggs." well, I guess that's pretty much how i feel about relationships; they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd... but I guess we keep goin' through it because most of us... need the eggs.

i gave her my heart and she gave me a pen...

2006-01-02T21:45:00.000-05:00

so all this time i think i might have felt that if you loved someone with all your heart everything would be alright. but i've come to the slight realization that might not be enough. the other person must love you in return. quite a simple yet complicated statement i know. it's not up to me. i've now realized that and it hurts like hell. once we did love each other. however for one reason or another her love faded enough that she had to end it. of course being the dumpee i'm very upset and feel like if i just applied myself i might win her heart back. all my life, whenever in this situation, i've always thought this. but that's not how life works. and looking back i dont think it has ever worked that way for me. so why have i always resorted to this train of thought? i have no control when i'm the one being dumped. or do i? i write letters confessing my love and saying cliche lines like "i know you feel this way too". but i feel like that only pushes her away more. but then again what if i dont tell her? and then she thinks that maybe i think that i'm better off without her and then she doesnt try to get back together with me. which is not the case. it's all a "damned if you do and damned if you dont" type of situation. i've always hoped for movie-like romance. but it'll never happen. she'll never come running back into my arms b/c i hold a jam box playing in your eyes over my head outside of her window. no matter how many airline miles i cash in to see her... no matter how many times i surprise her on xmas morning... no matter how many times i pick flowers for her just b/c... no matter how much i apply myself it's all for not. so when getting dumped i guess just letting it go and getting over it is where i need to focus my energy. she'll never come back. if she wanted to be with me she wouldnt have let me go. i need to abandon all hope it seems. i need to give up the dream to be a family man. i need to give up on trying to find true love. i guess certain people are just doomed to this fate. i've been fighting it for 26 years... i'm ready to accept my fate. i'd give anything to be with her. i was ready to gamble everything for love. but that's not enough. she doesnt want to be with me. she doesnt want me. i realize that now. which makes everything easier yet more difficult.
good night my fellow hopeless romantics... keep up the good fight.

mandatory listening: the cure - disintegration
(this post's key song: pictures of you)

i think i figured it out...

2005-12-18T19:49:00.000-05:00

so in lieu of the christmas spirit, i'm watching ernest saves christmas. and that's when it hits me... this is why i'm single. i think tomorrow i'm going to cut off my penis. it seems i wont be needing it anymore.

mandatory listening: louis armstrong - christmas through the years

bandwidth slowing funness...

2005-12-12T19:31:00.000-05:00

i had a burst of creativity. and i would like to share.

you can click the pic for full size indulgence. enjoy...

sometimes i doubt your commitment to musical fusion...

2005-12-11T11:10:00.000-05:00

so if you havent noticed lately... i'm bored. being bored can lead you down some roads you might have never thought to journey down before. for me, it's the internet. i hate the internet. it just sucks you in. there's sooooo much out there man, i just cant take it! however, i am bored. and recently i have been on a da vinci-like quest for knowledge. so i started working the joint and i've found some good music sites for downloading mp3s. now i cant stop! well, i've added a column to my sidebar for some of the better sites and blogs that i've found. you'll find them under "musical fusion". music seems to be the only thing really fueling my soul right now. i mean it always has... but lately i seem to be taking it really seriously. ::shrug:: anyway, enjoy the new addition to this wonderful blog.

that nigger (was) crazy...

2005-12-10T23:28:00.000-05:00

richard franklin lennox thomas pryor III

december 1, 1940 - december 10, 2005

fuuuck! one of the greatest, most influential comedians has passed on. i'm sure you heard the news by now. i've been sitting here listening to "that nigger's crazy" hoping for some inspiration for this post but i just dont have the verbal capacity to give this great man the post that he deserves. the only way to know just how great he was is to hear/see it for yourself. you can check out his life's work at the official website (just ignore the cartoon bubble coming out of his mouth that says "i aint dead yet, motherfucker!" - i'm sure they'll take care of it soonish). if you dont know the man then get on it motherfucker b/c that is today's mandatory listening. click here to listen to an "attempted" interview with richard - pretty funny stuff. below are my personal pryor favorites. check them out. if you dont, you're a honky...

stand up:

that nigger's crazy
bicentenial nigger
richard pryor: live in concert
live on the sunset strip

films:

he was also one of the writers on blazing saddles which is considered one of the funniest movies of all time. so check that out too if you havent already.

"the dream is over..."

2005-12-08T21:02:00.000-05:00

john winston lennon

october 4, 1940 - december 8,1980

i think it's obvious what your mandatory listening is.

today of all days...

point of reference for "death of the album"...

2005-12-07T23:00:00.000-05:00

i thought this would be interesting to you folks out there. here's the emails between myself and tweek today that sparked my ranting post below (death of the album)...

from: tweek
to: floyd
tell me if this is crazy: steve holt keeps commenting on some of the music on ziggy - he likes the new weezer cd and he digs my ringtone ("my coco" - he keeps asking me to play it), and just yesterday he asked me how long do i think it would take to copy all the music from my ipod to something else. i said "mine specifically or just in general how long would it take?" he said he wasnt getting an ipod, but i cant help but think he's looking for some music. think i should make him something; get him out of his dave matthews post-college funk? or could this just be like his "interest" in comics?

from: floyd
to: tweek
whenever the chance arises to push your taste in music on someone, you take it. make that kid a cd and do whatever you can to replicate yourself thru him. hell, now i'm gonna make him a cd and send it up ;) there can never be enough people in the world who know good music (and there always seems to be a shortage).

from: tweek
to: floyd
yeah, good point. i just wanted to make sure i wasnt crazy, since he didnt come right out and ask for a cd. now i gotta figure what to include...

from: floyd
to: tweek
rock it man... rock it. ps - that new weezer album... meh. a few choice songs, but once again par for 2005.

from: tweek
to: floyd
yeah, i looked through it and was like "i know about 5 of these." par for '05, huh? yeah, i suppose. there was no to the 5 boroughs, but i feel like i discovered (or were told about) a lot of new artists for some reason.

from: floyd
to: tweek
as far as albums go i think 2005 sucked hard. i think it's the culture. like itunes and ipods are killing the "full length lp". nothing really feels like an album anymore. it's just a collection of songs. and the quality is suffering b/c of it. last great "album"... green day's american idiot. before that? a grand don't come for free. the love below? welcome interstate managers? i dont know. we're averaging like 2-3 quality albums per year these days it feels like. i miss a great album that doesnt require skipping songs. dont get me wrong though, i love my ipod. but it's mainly b/c I can skip the crap weezer, ben folds, raveonettes, etc. if we were still with cds only, we would have acquired like a dozen cds this year in our books that are only good for short drives. this should be a post. i'm gonna work on this some more. "the death of the album" i shall title it.

from: tweek
to: floyd
oh, i've been feeling for awhile that shuffles have killed the concept of the "album" (yet, not the concept album - thank you, mike skinner!). i know for a fact songs for silverman and pretty in black would not have gotten the play they get now from me if i had to actually take the cd and put it in... i'd be done each in about 10 minutes. every cd i got this year i listened to it once straight through as a cd in my car. you were there for the raveonettes... it wasnt pretty. truly a "wtf" moment. but shuffle acted like a sieve for it, and the crap songs fell through the holes and the few good ones stuck around. ditto with make believe (though i'm sad to say this method didnt work for both discs of the new foo - i ended up skipping all of them :-/ ) the last album i felt i could listen to straight through? i dunno... when did he's the dj, i'm the rapper come out? :-P

from: floyd
to: tweek
i believe that was 1986? and i dont even need a concept album. just something that doesnt feel like someone's mixed cd. i mean production, song arrangement, etc. some friggin thought put into it, you know? and you're absolutely right about shuffle saving these crap albums that would otherwise find the dusty end of the shelf. my only beef with the new foo is at the end of the "rock" album. the last like 3 songs faded real hard and did not rock at all like the beginning of the album. they're ok songs, but... it just didnt work like it was supposed to. but i would probably put in your honor in my top... 10 of 2005? i liked it but i'm giving them more credit for trying then anything. tried the double album. tried the "concept" album. i thought it was a good effort. i dont think it'd be in the top 5, but... i cant really think of some top 5 albums for this year. i would probably put ben lee, gorillaz, and beck in the top 5 of 2005.

from: tweek
to: floyd
if i had to go for top 5 of this year, i'd probably say the three albums you mentioned, and of montreal - the sunlandic twins (i think that was an '05 release). if i was hard-pressed for a five, i'd say twin cinema. american idiot would've been up there, but it lost steam due to overexposure... i need to uncheck it for awhile (though you know they are the third group ever to have 5 top ten hits from at least two different albums? thought that was interesting).

the views expressed above are soley those of the individuals providing them and do not reflect those of the lowercase co., it's parent, affiliate, or subsidiary companies. names and uppercases have been changed to protect the innocent. of course, no one is innocent so that was nothing more than a lie.

death of the album...

2005-12-07T19:35:00.000-05:00

i'm curious... did anyone else notice that music sucked this year? 2005 was quite the suckfest for new releases. there were a few choice lps, but for the most part just a whole lot of disappointment. and here's my rant...

i'm going to blame our culture. it's changed folks... dont say it hasnt. you know what i'm talking about. ipods. thats right i said it. ipods. do you even remember what it was like 2 yrs ago? if you're like me you had a book of 96 cds in your car. fumbling thru it while trying not to crash your ride. trying to find that album that you could put in and just drive. and you had so many favorites. put one in and it was at least 30-40 minutes before you were changing that cd (and that was skipping the intro and maybe a song or two). nowadays... i dont know. maybe it's just me, but no one seems to be trying to reach that bar anymore (musicians i mean). and i'm not looking for the next dark side of the moon or quadrophenia... but c'mon man. i give you my $11.99 and you give me an album that's longer than 30 minutes and keeps me interested and entertained from track one to end. it's not too much to ask. like i said i'm blaming ipods, itunes, etc. it feels like maybe b/c of all the downloading and being able to buy just specific songs, it's no big deal for an artist to release an album of 12 and have 5 be the biggest downloads of the month on itunes. are musicians even measured in album sales anymore? can you go double platinum when millions of people are testing you out with 30 second samples and buying a handful of songs on itunes? remember napster? old napster i mean. it was never about piracy or artistic property. it was about money. and now with portable mp3 players, everything's a friggin shuffle or playlist. oh and dont forget the itunes exclusives. or the bonus tracks with purchase of full album. (this is where i mention that i have a 60gb ipod named gibson floyd who is the love of my life.) now here's the good cop... ipods are actually saving these crap albums. for example i purchased get behind me satan by the white stripes earlier this year. and i listened to it all the way thru... once. it was meh, but i didnt really expect it to overtake elephant in excellence. so i put it on my ipod. and gibson floyd is pretty much on perpetual shuffle. when one of the songs from that album comes on i usually just let it go b/c i know it's going to be over in about 3-4 minutes (whether i like it or not). but if this was two years ago like i talked about earlier, that cd would not even be in my book. it'd be on the shelf waiting for me to use a song or two in a mixed cd. b/c of the ipod this music is making it's way to my ear. so it's all a double edged sword. i think music sucks b/c of portable mp3 players but b/c of the portable mp3 players the music can be tolerated in small doses b/c they're likely to be surrounded by better music. i like a good single, but i'm more of an album man myself. i just want to put something on and let it go. i dont want to skip bad songs or shuffle the shit out of everything. like i said i'm usually on shuffle with the ipod (6589 songs mind you), but it just throws you off most of the time going from frank sinatra to led zeppelin to eminem to the cure to the bad plus to aimee mann to the wu-tang clan to pink floyd. it makes it real tough to get into a groove. i really like my vinyl collection. that's where it's at. if you have a vinyl record you're not skipping songs. you're not putting it on for a couple of good tracks. you're in it for the long run (unless you get lazy and dont flip it to side two). but hey, that's me.

i'm not sure where i'm really trying to end up with this post. oh right! 2005 sucked for new releases. i dont know. maybe my blame on portable mp3 players is a little much. perhaps these musicians just didnt have their shit together this last go around? i never did think of that. but god dammit, all year i've had nothing but disappointment album after album. id run to best buy on tuesday for my favorite musician's newest opus (ben folds, raveonettes, weezer, to name a few) and you get a few good songs and the rest is garbage. i'm curious of the few people who are reading this - what are the last 5 best "albums" you've gotten? (comment with your answers and you'll get a gold star) and by "album" i mean a piece of work that was made to grab you and hold on for the entire length of the trip. an album that was made with the intent of it being an "album" and not just a collection of songs. going backwards chronologically for me would have to be:

green day - american idiot (2004)
the streets - a grand don't come for free (2004)
the flaming lips - yoshimi battles the pink robots (2002)
ben fold five - the unauthorized biography of reinhold messner (1999)
the cure - disintegration (1989)

those would be my best. you might have noticed there's a ten year gap in there at the end. well i could have gone with some obvious choices such as nirvana's nevermind, smashing pumpkins' mellon collie and the infinite sadness, jay-z's black album, or the white stripes' elephant but... well, i just love disintegration and i wanted it in my top 5. shut up! it also seems like my first four on there are "concept albums". not sure if it just works out that way or if that's what it takes to be a great "album". ::shrug:: i guess the one's considered "concept" are easier to identify as "albums"? so that's mine... what's yours? oh yeah, and there's no mandatory listening for this post. just use my top 5 up there. that should be more than enough.

awake is the new sleep...

2005-12-06T06:09:00.000-05:00

well we can add "cant sleep" to the mix now. maybe i'm rotting from the inside? i mean, i look normal on the outside. i wonder if i should go get that looked at? maybe there's like a tiny bug just scratching at my brain that i cant feel and then doctors can go in and laser it off and then i'd feel better. yeah, that'd be nice. maybe it's a brain cloud like in joe -vs- the volcano. maybe...

so you should listen to ben lee's awake is the new sleep (whoever you are). i'd say it might be my favorite album of 2005. pretty much every feeling i have is on this album and i love it. i've liked his work to begin with but almost every song on this album just feels like it was written for me. i'm sure you have albums or songs that make you feel that way too so dont give me that "god you're so gay" look. not that there's anything wrong with that...

i've also decided i'm going to start doing that livejournal type thing were you put your "current listening" or whatever on your blog. although mine's just going to be listening recommendations. if i can spread good music throughout the world then at least i'll feel like i've made a difference in a few lives out there. so here's your first one (you already know what it is though if you've read this far)...

mandatory listening: ben lee "awake is the new sleep"

warning: this blog will depress you...

2005-12-03T20:41:00.000-05:00

someone kill me please. i, for some reason or another, cannot entertain myself anymore. i lived alone for over a year and was fine. had roommates for about 2 months, who have left already, and now i'm going crazy. was it them? did i spoil myself with human contact? what is it? i cant fix it. i work monday thru friday and on saturday afternoon i'm climbing the walls. listened to music, watched movies, played my guitar, read a bit and it's all worthless. i'm sitting around wasting my life away. what the hell is it all about? why am i so alone? not alone in the sense that i dont have anyone to share my bed with... i mean... isolated i guess. unimportant? i might as well be floating in space. i go out in the world and i'm not seen, i'm not heard. i converse with tellers, clerks, and whatever but it means nothing. no one cares. and no one comes looking for me. no one wants to hang out with me. no one needs to call and see how i am. no one's probably reading this. i'm just here... in this house... waiting to die... alone. i mean, what else could you possibly call this? what do you do when you have nothing worth waking up for? no goals. nothing on the horizon. i could continue to do nothing... but what kind of life is that? go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep. then the weekend. nothing. no one. just staying in, saving money. but for what? to pay the bills i cant afford. i lived the good life for about a year. i have a big tv, i bought the jeep i've always wanted, i have a large beautiful house... pretty much what i thought i would always want given enough means. and now... it's all worthless. i'm selling damn near everything. i dont want it anymore. i'd rather be broke and have a life then have a big tv and not a fucking thing to do. i want so much more, only problem is i dont know what? i need some inspiration. some sort of push. i want to be an art teacher. i want to be a photographer. i want to be a rock star. i want to be anything other than what i am now. i could rattle off 20 things i'd rather be then myself. i want to be able to tell people about myself when they ask "what's your story?". my story as of now has been shit. it's been nothing but pent up feelings about divorce, heart break, money problems, stress... nothing worth talking about during social gatherings. 26 yrs and i have nothing to say to anyone about anything. just a bunch of wants and wishes. the only thing i've ever thought i needed was a good woman by my side. that one special person who would fuel my soul. 26 yrs and i still havent found that. and all this time i blame women for being stupid or whatever but, i guess it's me. i have nothing to offer. i'm realizing that now. i have no money. no ambition. no history. no culture. no nothing. i just have me. and i'm a good person, honest, trustworthy, but it means nothing. not in the real world. obviously if it did i wouldnt be sitting here on blogger.com. or wasting time on myspace all the god damn time. which has been proving my point lately too. whatever. i'm done. i've been typing this fucking blog for like 2 hours now while watching apollo 13. a movie about those with real problems. not my pussy "real world athens" bullshit. goodnight.

it's never too late...

2005-12-01T19:56:00.000-05:00

welp, after all these years i finally did it. i sat down and committed myself to the task. i... i just beat halo. that's right sucka!!! yeah i know. big deal right? well piss off. i've never done it. never really tried actually. just kinda played it and never thought to keep going. it's just something i would pick up when i needed some dumb entertainment. but this week i was all "huh... wonder how this ends". so now i know. booooring. although the escape on the warthog was pretty fly. oops. did i just ruin it for you? i doubt it. i think i was the last male on earth to beat this game. so now i can hold my head up high the next time i stroll into my local game stop. i wont be getting halo 2 though. i rented it once when tweek was here and my gawd did it suck. and the movie... hmm. doubt it. although it couldnt look half as bad as doom. jeebus. why dont they just make a movie from wolfenstein? or asteroids? i dont know where i'm going with this. i didnt really want to invest an entire blog on video games. i'm not a big video game nerd. but i am your typical boy who grew up in the suburbs with a mother who's only punishment was "you're grounded from playing your nintendo this week!" which i always felt was a little confusing... she bought me the damn thing for xmas!! alright, i'm done.

unexpected endings

2005-11-20T07:45:00.000-05:00

so... this guy at work, i've never met or talked to him, lost his wife the other night. she was driving home from work, was involved in an accident, and died instantly. could you imagine? i mean from both angles... i hope when i die, i know it ahead of time. i dont want to be in my car singing sunrise, sunset and bam, dead. i want to be able to reminisce a bit before i go. and the even harder thing to deal with is his situation. he's sitting at home waiting for her to get home and he gets a phone call that she'll never be home again. 17 yrs of marriage or something and he never got to say goodbye. never got to tell her he loved her one more time. i hope i never have to deal with death in this way. i'm sure i will one day (it's inevitable). but god dammit this has really bummed me out. i'm in georgia now... dad is in pennsylvania and mom is in new hampshire. what if something were to happen to them? unless somehow we all got the people we love in one area, this type of situation happens to all of us. maybe i'm just the only one thinking about it? i mean, i only see my parents like twice a year and we talk maybe once a week. that inevitable phone call is going to come one day. unless it's some sort of illness that would prolong things until i could get to them, i'm at least 5-6 hours away from being there for them. and they could be long gone by then. boy this sure is a sunny sunday morning post, huh? i'm sorry. this has just been bothering me. you cant take anything for granted. you cant wait until tomorrow. tell that certain someone how you feel about them every chance you can. do that thing you've been wanting to do. quit procrastinating. and i'm talking about love here folks. i know that things like getting an education and a good career take time. but i mean your happiness. dont wait for it. take it. it's right there. you just need the balls to take that leap. if you want to be with someone, tell them. no, if you want to be with someone, then be with them. dont wait. you cant say things like well i'll be done with school in a year and then everything will be fine. no it wont. in 11 months something could go wrong. then all the waiting and planning would be for nothing. i've wasted too much of my short life waiting for other people and their plans. i'm living my life now. the way i want to. the way it's going to make me happy. i cant sit around waiting to die. i know there's happiness out there for me. and i feel like i'm the only one in this world who realizes that. like dating... it seems to move to slow for me nowadays. why all this "taking it slow" stuff? if you meet a person and you have a few dates and everything's great... then dammit jump in head first and start enjoying the hell out of each other. stop "waiting" to see if things work. if they're working now, let them work. the quicker you jump in, the quicker you'll know if indeed this person is right. if you have a date here and a date there you're just prolonging the process. start learning about that person. explore the world with this person. spend an entire day with that person. you'll learn more about them in that one day then you would in 10 dinners. it's what you want. why take it slow? that's boring. spontaneous... exciting... unknown... that's happiness. i really got off on a tangent there... look, i'm only 26 yrs old and now i feel like i could die any moment. and i have to go get milk. what if i dont come back? some asshole still drunk from last night t-bones me and i'm dead. b/c of milk! just remember what i said, whoever you are. live your damn life while you still have it. as much as you think you're in control, you're really not. that's what i plan to do. who's with me?

where is my mind?

2005-11-19T18:39:00.000-05:00

i wish i could write a song. i wish i could sing. i wish i wasnt so nervous. i wish i wasnt so shy. i wish i was worth more to those i come in contact with. i wish i had more stories. i wish i had more experiences. i wish i had more opinions. i wish she would call. i wish i wasnt bitter. i wish my god damn feet were not cold. i wish i knew the future. i wish i knew the questions to the answers that i want to know. i wish i had something better to do than this. i wish i wasnt broke. i wish i was famous. i wish i had a talent. i wish i wasnt ordinary. i wish the weather was always like this. i wish people cared. i wish more people would put love as the number one priority in their life. i wish i was a little bit taller. i wish i could move shit with my mind. i wish i could remember what i read. i wish life was a little bit longer. i wish someone was reading this. i wish i had done more when i was younger. i wish i had been more adventurous. i wish i had solar power. i wish i knew at least one card trick. i wish this had helped...

did you know?

2005-11-16T08:35:00.000-05:00

"eskimo" is an indian word meaning "blubber-eater". all this time we've been slandering these people. us... americans. who could've seen that coming? the correct word to use when referring to our frozen friends would be "Inuit". call them an eskimo and the seal blubber-lined gloves might come off...

just like heaven. well, not really...

2005-11-05T23:21:00.000-05:00

i hate breaking up. and not for the obvious reasons... i'll tell you why. if you spend a decent amount of time in a relationship, say 11 months, a lot of things start to be associated to that person. in that regard, music and movies. like for me, thru my last relationship i picked up a lot of things that i now associate with that special someone. they were always there, but just being together seemed to give a new appreciation of them. but now she's gone... but those things are not. i tried watching garden state last night, had a horrible time. cant listen to the cure anymore. but this is what i mean. i used to watch garden state and it would make me happy b/c i thought i had found that sort of love and happiness. i used to listen to the cure and sing along to the love cats and feel on top of the world. now i have to skip these sorts of things. i have to listen to led zeppelin and watch chappelle's show (which is all well and good). but thats what i have to do to get her off my mind. i need non-relationship type things in my life to keep from feeling miserable and fuck does that suck b/c these movies and this music is excellent and they're a big part of my life. i skip half the songs on my ipod on the way to work b/c of this. i know i'll get over it, you always do. but this is the worst part of breaking up - trying to ignore these things that are constantly in your face. and everything's an association at this point. you go thru six degrees of separation just to find something in this thing that will make you think of that person and then you get pissed off and miserable when you do. "this is good cheese... what goes with cheese?... wine... there was wine in that movie sideways... i saw that with her... fuck! it's neverending!!!" but then again there are days when i dont skip a good song.. and it makes me... hopeful. i'm such a sucker. a glutton for punishment you would say...

happy halloween. i suppose...

2005-10-31T22:23:00.000-05:00

church sign: "trunk or treat"
me: "...... what?"

i've got nothing... absolutely nothing.

2005-09-15T23:46:00.000-04:00

i lost the best thing i've ever had. the relationship died and i lost my best friend.
i love you and i miss you so much...

"giving up something in the present in order to have something greater in the future is actually a wise pay-off."

i wish i could have given up more for you... i'm sorry.

they all fall down...

2005-09-11T10:05:00.000-04:00

happy 9/11 day everyone! celebrating that day after we thought america was untouchable. i'm surprised it isnt a nationally celebrated holiday like memorial day or 4th of july. i wonder when that'll happen? probably after bush leaves office. i know i wouldnt want to annually relive the day i fucked up. ahh, they'd probably lump it in with labor day anyway and i wouldnt get another day off from work.

small children using mom jokes as a defense mechanism...priceless

2005-09-10T19:39:00.000-04:00

so i'm in the local game stop waiting to pick up riley from work, not planning on buying anything, just killing time. sidling up next to me in the xbox section are these three kids (couldnt have been older than 11). as i browse the used games i overhear this conversation:

skinny kid: "playstation two came out in 1998."
fat kid: "playstation two came out in 1997 dumbass."
skinny kid: "you're the dumbass, fat ass."
fat kid: "i'm only fat because every time i get done with your mom she gives me a donut."

now, i dont know when playstation two came out (nor do i care), but that fat fucker had me lol-ing with that one. if i ever have fat children, ima teach them that one to use on bullies at school.

tennis for lovers...

2005-09-09T22:40:00.000-04:00

i was poking around blogs, something i hardly ever do anymore, and i found on staci's so-called life (a friend of a friend) this blog about how she was sick of fighting with her boyfriend and relationship bullshit, yada yada yada. and i was intriqued by the entry. but thats not why i'm posting this... post. it was in the comment section that i found a very interesting passage (by someone named jon):

Hey Staci. You may recall my comparison of relationships to tennis. To some it may seem a little strange but to me the analogy was enlightening. The short of it is that when you play tennis, if you hit the ball out, you expect the other person to call it out. It's really their responsibility to call it out and if they are sincere, you have to respect that. Even if you thought it was in, it's not your call, it's theirs. If you end up constantly fighting over whether or not it was out -- for myself, that would quickly become tiresome. If they continually called balls out that I thought were in, I would definitely start to question whether or not I wanted to play anymore. Ultimately it's how the other person makes you feel. If on balance you feel like crap, life is too short to continue with it. However, if on balance you have a good thing, don't take it for granted and hold on to it! :)

i dont know... i just thought that was a brilliant analogy.

i'll give you a topic...

2005-08-07T09:28:00.000-04:00

does kicking a yoga ball against the wall constitute exersize?

discuss.

there's no such thing as bad publicity...

2005-08-06T09:34:00.000-04:00

ima take a moment to plug the comic store i've created on ebay... just us comics.

tis the brainchild of myself and tweek. this "store" prompted tweek to setup another blog stand alone issues. it's an outlet for him to review and bitch about comics and not feel like a nerd. also, he seems to think very important comic book people read these things; so from now on he is "dan" (the geek formally known as "tweek"). no one's gonna hire a guy named dan, dan. maybe add another "n" or "a". these comic writers have oddly spelled names... jeph, geoff, or... jeff? i mean c'mon, what were mark millar's parents smoking when they came up with that one?!

come here often?

2005-07-13T19:54:00.000-04:00

yeah i know, i dont. ok, this is really just an apology to the 4 peop... 5 people who read this. between falling on my ass, the 4th of july, and tweek getting us kicked off of blogger at work, there's been no time to blog really. but i've wanted to... honestly. i know i said "daily updates" but c'mon, that's insane. so yeah... i'll try my best but daily updates are so last month.

we're going to skip the chapter on murphy's law... i'm sure it's unnecessary...

2005-06-28T16:24:00.000-04:00

if you're a fan of bill cosby then you may be familiar with his bit about air travel on the album revenge. this would be the one where he says he likes to shake people up by walking on the plane and yelling "hope the plane dont crash!". i thought this was funny. until yesterday...

i'm sitting on a plane at the philadelphia airport. the runway to be more accurate. after a few minutes the pilot comes on says "apparently our brakes dont work. we're going to have to wait for maintenance to get out here and fix this problem. sorry for the delay folks." now i'm thinking "go get another fucking plane!". i hate that they do that to you. no matter what the bad news, they always keep you on the plane or wait until you're on the runway. they pack 300 people on the plane and then go "i'm sorry folks. we cant take off - there's a delay in atlanta. oh yeah, and you cant get off the plane. please keep your seatbelts fastened". god i hate traveling. anyway, thats not why i'm telling this story. so after 30 or so minutes the pilot assures us the problem has been taken care of - we're taking off in 1-2 minutes. ummm... ok. seemed quick for a problem with the brakes, but i'm no mechanic. we take off and everything is fine. now it's a 2 hr 1 min flight from philadelphia to atlanta. i fell asleep, woke up, read some comics, and completely forgot that i was sitting on the plane that had the brake problem in philadelphia. that is... until about 20 feet from landing, this motherfucker of a woman decides she's going to say, not to herself but to everyone... "hope the brakes work!". does this asshole not know the concept of murphy's law? luckily, and obviously, the brakes did indeed work. but i had about 7 seconds to freak the fuck out in my head... "oh my god! i forgot the brakes dont work!!!".

i hate stupid people. so very, very much.

god has got great p.r. in the south...

2005-06-23T07:40:00.000-04:00

i tell ya... these southerners sure do know how to guilt trip people into coming to church. every morning on my drive to work, i see all kinds of churches. and each of them has a little marquee in front of them with a catchy religious phrase or words of wisdom on it. for example: "everytime you miss church, you cast your vote to shut it down". talk about a gun to the head... anyway, what sparked this blog is probably the cleverest one i've seen (which i saw this morning and just had to share with everyone):

come to ch ch
what's missing?
ur

those religious bastards crack me up! are they having that much trouble filling the pews? is it going to get to the point where i see something like "come to church... or you're gay"? i wish i could remember some of the less confrontational displays. i'll try to remember them from now on and i'll blog the better ones for this online congregation.

i'm just a (stupid) girl...

2005-06-22T15:44:00.000-04:00

so, i'm listening to "i'm just a girl" by no doubt (i'm sure you've heard of it) and i notice this lyric...

i'm just a girl
i'd rather not be
cause they dont let me drive late at night

what the fuck is she talking about? where is this male-dominant world that doesnt allow those of you with vaginas to drive late at night? i had to investigate (and i'm that bored at work). so i just read (b/c this is where she's from) the california dmv manual and it's basically the same as the states i've had licenses in. it states that minors, regardless of gender, can only drive during daylight hours and not after midnight. after you turn 18 you get your "adult" license you can drive whenever you damn well please. so gwen... quit your bitching and get back to shaking your ass for money you whore. oh here's another one...

i'm just a girl
living in captivity

as if she's living like a bald eagle in the philadelphia zoo. i'm sure that her and her beau are living quite comfortably in their mansion in england. (i know you'll point out that the song was written before she even met gavin but... fuck you.)

oh yeah... and women all across america instantly gravitated to this anthem, not even noticing that the lyrics were incorrect and written by someone who hasnt even taken the time to read her state's dmv manual. what a sad bunch. yeah... i'm boycotting this song now. it's stupid and i'm deleting it from my ipod when i get home. if you want to get your point across how about a song called "i'm more than just a girl"? or "i'm a girl and i have common sense". she's probably one of these celebrities who bitches about how hard it is to be famous. i bet she'll blame men for that too. "my daddy said i sing really well and now i cant go grocery shopping in a regular store - i hate him!". agh! then dont be famous!

i'd like to appologize for this blog. i really shouldnt blog when i'm in a bad mood. the above is a result of that. sorry.

defying the laws of science...

2005-06-15T13:40:00.000-04:00

why doesn't "sweet tea" get cold?

*if you live somewhere other than the south, you will not understand the question.

and i'm on to the next one...

2005-06-14T13:26:00.000-04:00

new foo fighters album today bitches!

that is all.

i knew i smelled something burning...

2005-06-13T15:54:00.000-04:00

you are now entering new jersey.

if you want to sit, bring a chair...

2005-06-13T14:27:00.000-04:00

ok, i'd like to be the first to point out that i've already broken the rule of daily updates. however, i forgot to mention that weekends dont count. so piss off...

anyway... the weekend. let's see... it was filled with comics, neighbors and tropical storms. so really, just another typical weekend for me. apparently the neighbors have been asking about other neighbors and so the guy next to me (who i dubbed "the mayor") invited everyone to his house on saturday for a "get to know your neighbor" party. which is such a gay idea. i mean, you get all these people in one house and the people who already know each other talk amongst themselves and the people who wanted to get to know their neighbors just stand around awkwardly hoping to be asked some meaningless question (such as "what do you do?"). i myself am neither. i could care less about what these people do and what car they drive... just stay off my goddamn lawn! but i went to this shindig; introduced myself to the ones i didnt know and made small talk with those i did. oh yeah... and most of my neighbors like the sauce (if you know what i mean).

oh! i saw "mr & mrs smith" on sunday. pretty good i thought. i give it a $15 dvd rating (this is my new movie rating system - based on how much i would spend when it comes out on dvd - $20 being the highest). it had the right mix of laughs, explosions, and vince vaughn... how can you go wrong? i do have odd taste sometimes though. there were a lot of parts where i was the only one giggling at something. oh well.

you're supposed to remove your hand from the velvet glove first...

2005-06-10T12:34:00.001-04:00

apparently, to be cool enough for blogging, you have to post something more than once a month. otherwise your "friends" will drop your ass right off of their links section. b/c we know how hard that links section is to maintain. wouldn't want my uneventful blog name taking up all that space. fucking metrosexuals...

so now, you're getting a post every day bitches! from the most thrilling to the most mundane of my daily experiences, there will be something posted. starting right now...

it seems i've parked in the same parking spot at work for the last 3 or 4 days. but i realize everyday when i get out of my car there's this enormous ant hill staring me in the face. now, i may be 25 yrs old, but i still get a kick out of fucking with ants. so first day i poked it with a stick. so they scurried out of that hole and i giggled. next day, the same stick is sitting there. so i knock the top off the hill and they run everywhere. this is when i realized i cant tell if these fuckers bite, so i run too. i pull in yesterday and there's my stick so i decided to go to town on this freaking ant hill (i was actually early for once, so i had time). i just obliterated this ant hill - eggs were flying, queens jumping on top of the eggs to save them, and i swear i even heard worker ants screaming "this is why they dont offer us medical!". so after a fierce 3 minute battle... no more ant hill. wouldnt you know it, i pull in this morning and they re-built the colony! then i realized, i wouldnt like it if everyday started with someone poking a stick thru where i work. so i tipped my hat to them and went on my way.

what's the point?

2005-06-06T20:29:00.000-04:00

sarcastic, general answers expected...

useless information: vol. 1

2005-06-06T16:07:00.000-04:00

butterflies taste with their feet.
a duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
in 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
on average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
on average people fear spiders more than they do death.
ninety percent of new york city cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
it's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
women blink nearly twice as much as men.
it's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
the main library at indiana university sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
a snail can sleep for three years.
no word in the english language rhymes with "month".
the average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
the electric chair was invented by a dentist.
all polar bears are left handed.
in ancient egypt, priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
"typewriter" is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
"go," is the shortest complete sentence in the english language.
if barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. she would
stand seven feet, two inches tall.
a crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
the cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow.

and for the coup de gras...

did you know that bread is delivered fresh to stores five days a week?
monday, tuesday, thursday, friday and saturday.
each day has a different color twist tie: monday = blue, tuesday = green, thursday = red, friday = white and saturday = yellow.
so if today was thursday, you would want a red twist tie; not white which is friday's (almost a week old).
to remember, the colors go alphabetically by color: blue - green - red - white - yellow (monday through saturday).

hope you paid attention... there's a quiz later.

i have no follow-up

2005-04-13T09:34:00.000-04:00

gaambit: so what's going on with that blog, floyd?
cliquesuck: umm, the blog.... hmmm. well... i'm uninspired at the moment and an overall boring individual. hows that?

"...all the sucka mc's can call me sire!"

2005-04-03T00:07:00.000-05:00

the date: march 31, 2005. the place: the 40 watt in athens, ga. the reason: mc chris.

this concert here is all thanks to tweek. hooked me up with a cd that had some mc chris on it and i fell in love. i would have to say though it is probably an aquired taste. i cant imagine everyone being down with mc. (and for you haters out there, it's mc as in the letters "m-c" not mc as in "the mcrib with biggie fries".) so yeah, my first concert in athens. it was a nice little venue as well. they had couches, tables and chairs, two bars, and plenty of space for the people who think crowd surfing is still in.

the night started out with me, not being at a concert in quite some time and forgetting how important cash is, trying to find a mac machine in downtown athens after being let in to the 40 watt (which is another hassle i forgot about). i picked up a rad mc chris tshirt, a sticker, and his cds. once i was settled in my seat the show started with the gaskets (lots of music to download on their site). good stuff. techno/dance/pop type of shit. not so much a band as it was two guys... one singing and the other pushing buttons on a drum machine. but good music nonetheless and rather good for an opening band.

and then... mc chris (his first cd is free for download on the website). imagine danny devito rapping with the voice of a nine year old, the enthusiam of richard simmons, and the vocabulary of ice cube (circa n.w.a). he did a lot of new songs along with a few select classics ("dq blizzard", "the tussin", and the infamous "fette's vette"). he would also stop after every song and address the crowd. my favorite address was him telling us about how he would get picked on for his voice not changing and his words of wisdow being "if you've got 11 toes or 3 nuts, take that defficiancy and do like mc does and turn that shit into cash!". he also suggested that the crowd go down to the local frat houses and "burn the fuckers down" (i didnt read the paper the next day, but i'm pretty sure athens' upstanding college students are fine). anyways, lots of firsts for me: first concert in athens, first experience of the 40 watt, first rap concert, and first siting of an african-american polish sausage street vendor. (is that p.c.? can i call him a street vendor?)

"i used to do drugs. i still do, but i used to too..."

2005-04-01T09:13:00.000-05:00

normally, i'm the last to know everything. although last night, i seemed to be the only one who did know. perhaps it was a joke? an early, evil april fools joke maybe. i was at the mc chris show and he mentioned something about it (even dedicated a song to him). so, it must be true, i mean, mc chris wouldnt lie to me. would he? this morning the rumors had come true... "comedian and actor mitch hedberg, 37, dies". well kick me in the fucking balls! how could this be?! anyway, i'm not going to go into detail about his death or his life, the article will do that for you. i just wouldnt be able to sleep tonight if i didnt give props to mitch on my blog. thankfully, i did get to see him perform before he passed. we were late to the show, but i dont think we missed much. i remember excellent seats too (fifth row or something equally awesome). after that show it seemed that all my friends knew who he was. now that he's gone, i feel a small amount of pride that maybe some of them know of him b/c of me. mitch gave us lots of laughs, and i'm sure he would have given us much more. go check out his website (mitchhedberg.net). it's not too late to become a fan. he left us with some good material. i'll leave you with some of my favorite mitch moments:

i went to the store to get a candle holder but they didnt have one. so i got a cake.
escalators can never break down, they can only become stairs. if they ever break down, they should put a sign on that says "escalator temporarily stairs. sorry for the convenience".
i dont have a girlfriend. i just know a girl who would get mad if she heard me say that.
i play golf but i'm not that good. i never got a hole-in-one... but i did hit a guy. you're supposed to yell "fore" but i was too busy mumbling "there aint no way that's gonna hit him".
i like kit kats unless i'm with four or more people.
i cant get into the flossing thing. people who smoke say "you dont know how hard it is to quit smoking". yes i do it's as hard as it is to start flossing.
i was gonna get my teeth whitened but i said fuck that, i'll get a tan instead.
i dont have a microwave. but i do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.
i had a paper route when i was a kid. i was supposed to go to 2000 houses... or 1 dumpster.
as an adult i'm not supposed to go down slides. so if i find myself at the top of a slide i have to act like i got there accidently... "how'd i get up here god dammit!? i guess i'll have to slide down... weeeeeeeeee". that's what you do when you're having fun... you refer to yourself and some other people.
i was gonna get a candy bar and the button i was supposed to push was "hh". so i went to the side and found the "h" button and pushed it twice. fucking potato chips came out because they had an "hh" button. you gotta let me know. i am not familiar with the concept of "hh". i did not learn my aa, bb, cc's. god god dammit dammit.

february 24, 1968 - march 30, 2005

network unreachable

2005-03-30T22:14:00.000-05:00

this is what i've been getting all night from "hello by picasa"! let's see... i have aim, yahoo messenger, itunes, and internet explorer running... they dont seem to have any problems with the network. all i want is a picture for my blog god dammit!!! fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! what a way to start a blog, eh? isnt that what these are for though? to bitch about things you have no control over... ?

...thought so